Telling My Best Friends + The CRAZIEST Story!

I guess at this point in the blog it seems like I’ve told everyone that I’m pregnant. But that’s not really the case. So far, I’ve shared our secret with:

  • My mom, dad, sisters, and close aunts and uncles
  • One close friend
  • Two close co-workers

So you see, not a ton of people. It’s not that I’m waiting for a specific time, but it feels really early yet. Especially without that first ultrasound, and without hearing the baby’s heartbeat. I’ve read a LOT of perspectives online about when to share the news… and my conclusion is that there’s no universal right time. You just have to do what feels right in the moment, and that decision is incredibly personal. (and not open to judgement!)

In a perfect world, one in which we didn’t have to go through IVF to get pregnant, I probably would have waited to tell 99% of people until past 12 weeks. But I had a wonderful opportunity to tell my two best friends from high school in person, as we had planned a girls’ trip to Asheville over Halloween weekend. They knew I was doing IVF, and that I’d know the results before they arrived in Atlanta on Thursday night (same day as Beta #3). So I quickly cooked up a plan to surprise them with the news.

I browsed Etsy for some cute ideas on announcing a pregnancy to friends. Apparently using wine labels to announce the news is a popular thing. You peel the original label off, and replace it with a personalized sticker label saying things like “Sip this for me, I’m a mommy to be!” or “I’ll join you soon! Baby XX due in XX.” I found that there was a special saying for friends: “Only the best friends get promoted to aunties!” So I searched on Etsy until I found the prettiest one.

Browsing through the listings, my eye landed on a cute label with the “best friends” text included. Then, I looked closer. I got goosebumps. The sample listing on the label (NO JOKE) said – “Baby York. Arriving June 2017”

My goosebumps had goosebumps. What!? Like a cartoon character, I literally rubbed my eyes to make sure I was clear on what I was seeing. Yup, sure enough. Our last name, and my due date. On a sample listing I just happened to click on. I was so freaked out. I quickly called my coworker over to confirm what I was seeing. She got goosebumps too. It was WEIRD.

A bit tentatively, I emailed the seller. “Hey Rachel… I have a random question. How do you pick your sample listing last names and due dates? Because… um…”

She immediately wrote back. She was freaked out too! Apparently she just chooses them at random. But… that’s amazing. I’ll take it as a good omen for Baby York 🙂

I quickly ordered and printed the labels (no edits, haha) – then stuck them on wine bottles for my girlfriends. I gifted them the bottles on Thursday night. They absolutely loved them! Lots of screaming, jumping around, smiley faces. Such a happy moment. And I’m so glad I got to do it in person! So much love.

Advertisements

Telling My Family

For the last year and a half, I’d been pretty tight-lipped about our efforts to have a baby. For the first year, it didn’t seem like anyone’s business, then when we started doing Clomid and IUI, I just didn’t feel like talking about our troubles. But IVF felt like a different, more intense beast. So I slowly started talking about it to my immediate family.

Of course, when you tell your family you’re going through something like this, they’re bound to ask a lot of questions and check in on how things are going (because they care and love you, obviously). I felt a little odd talking about it, sure, but I wanted them to understand the process – and it helped me mentally to talk through it out loud. But since everyone knew the key dates, when it came time for the beta results, my family group text blew up. “Did you hear back?” “What’s the latest?” “Are you pregnant?!” “Did it work!?”

Hmm. Sort of a drawback of being so open about the process. I lied and said that the results weren’t coming for another few days. Meanwhile, I thought about how and when I wanted to share the good news with my family. After the second beta test came back on Sunday with good results, I decided I was ready to tell them. I planned to tell my dad in person, then the rest of the family on FaceTime, as they were on vacation in the Philippines.

Joe and I had already planned dinner with my dad that Sunday night, so on Sunday afternoon, I was busy brainstorming the coolest way to tell him. I ended up at Swoozies, picking out my favorite baby book, Goodnight Atlanta, and a Quotables card that said “Life doesn’t come with an instruction book. That’s why we have fathers.” I also did a SUPER QUICK photo shoot with Disco, our labradoodle, and three pairs of shoes… then quickly had the photo printed at Walgreens (thank you Walgreens app!!!).

I hid my present until we got to the restaurant (Pasta Vino in Buckhead, for Atlantans), and after we settled into the table, presented him with the card. He read the front out loud (I knew he would). “Life doesn’t come with an instruction book. That’s why we have fathers.” Then he opened the card, to read, “…AND GRANDfathers! YAY! We’re pregnant!!!” He was so happy! He gave me a high five and shook Joe’s hand. I warned him that it was super early on… and he said the most calming thing. He said, “Well, anything can happen at any time. What’s important is that you got here.” Preach! So helpful. He opened the book and pulled out the photo… it was all so great.

We got back to my parents’ house, and Facetimed with the rest of my family. Everyone was so happy and excited! I wish I was able to tell them in person, but FaceTime was a decent substitute. I also got to FT my grandma!! She was so so happy too. She said she had been praying for me every night. There were lots of laughs and happy tears. It felt like a big hug.

The one thing – my family is full of big talkers, and Facebook posters, so I had to warn them multiple times not to share my secret on pain of death. I begged them not to, since we hadn’t even told Joe’s family, and it was so early in the pregnancy. So far, they’ve managed to keep mum about it, thank goodness!

We plan to tell Joe’s family this weekend 😀

 

Telling Joe (!!!!!!!!!)

The night before the beta test, I asked Joe – “How do you want me to tell you?” In typical Joe fashion, he said, “Well, just call me when you find out.”

I thought about this and didn’t love that option, especially since he’d be at work the whole day. If it was bad news, I didn’t want to distract him from meetings by bawling my eyes out on the phone. If it was good news, it would be so lame to find out via a phone call in the middle of the work day. So we agreed that either way, I’d wait until he got home from work to share the results.

So on Friday afternoon, after the best phone call in the history of the world (my positive beta test), my mind immediately jumped to, “OMG now I get to tell Joe!!!” I was so grateful, and so happy, to finally be able to share some good news with him. It had been sad news for so long…  I wasn’t going to let this opportunity go to waste, no matter what.

I Googled online for pregnancy announcement ideas, but didn’t find anything I specifically wanted to replicate. So I got into my car and went to a few stores for inspiration, finally picking up a gift bag worth of goodies to share my surprise.

Here’s what was in the box:

  1. A positive home pregnancy test! I wanted to see the news for myself, so I POAS-ed. The double lines showed up straight away. Unbelievable!!
  2. A Georgia Tech onesie – from Joe’s undergrad alma mater
  3. Goodnight Moon – Joe’s favorite childhood book
  4. What to Expect When You’re Expecting – really for me, but part of the package too 🙂
  5. Framed pictures of our little embryo at Day 5, pre-transfer and then in my uterus
  6. Finally, a card – the front of the card had a straight line from “Point A” to “Point B,” and a bunny rabbit riding a bicycle in loops throughout the line, spelling out “Life.” I thought it was so perfect and appropriate for our relationship, especially the recent years of trying and failing to conceive.

I sat on pins and needles waiting for Joe to get home. Finally, I heard the garage door open – he was back! He came out of the car with a sad look on his face and said, “It’s bad news, isn’t it.”

Before I could say much of anything, he gave me a hug and told me not to worry – that we’d try again. I said, “I’m ok… but I went to Target and found a card that made me think of you.” Then I handed him the card. Inside, I had written a message that went something like, “I’m so glad to be with you, there’s no one else I’d rather go through this with, I love you no matter what.” So he read it, and was motioning to hug me again, but I said — “Wait, there’s a back to the card.” He flipped it over and I had written “P.S. I’m pregnant!! Are you ready to be a dad?!?”

That’s when he lost it. So many happy tears, all around. He said, “Are you serious?” And I said “Yes, they said it’s unmistakable. Pregnant.” (!!!) I let him open the box of gifts. It was one of the best moments of my life, to be able to tell him about our baby.

SO. HAPPY.

We took a walk around the neighborhood and simply reveled in our happy news. We had already planned a Friday date night at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens’ Chihuly Nights exhibit, so we spent the night strolling through the gardens, holding hands, and sharing in our little secret. (It was a good idea to plan a fun night ahead of time on results day… we figured it would either be the most joyful of dates, or a distraction from sad news. Thankfully it was the former!)

I’m so thankful. I feel blessed.