I popped my Estrace, Xanax, and Advil, I grabbed my water bottle, and we headed to the doctor’s office. After the requisite bloodwork, Joe and I made our way to the OR. The nurse greeted us, walked us through the post-transfer do’s and don’ts, and asked us to change into our his-and-hers OR clothes. After waiting a few minutes, I was led into the back for a quick ultrasound to check if my bladder was full. (A full bladder pushes the uterus down for better visibility on ultrasound, and also helps the doctor insert the catheter more easily for embryo transfer.) Even though I had already guzzled about 60 ounces of water, my bladder was nowhere near full. So, back to the pre-op room for more water, and waiting. They tried again. Still not ready. I felt like a failure! I apologized profusely to the nurse, and she kindly said, “Don’t worry – bladders can be funny! We just need to wait a little longer.”
So we waited. Finally, around 11am, we were both led back to the OR to get the party started. I definitely had to pee by then. 🙂
It all happened so fast, but here’s what I remember. I was in the same room for the egg retrieval. Dr. Keenan, who was on deck for my transfer, had previously did my trial transfer (and several ultrasounds/at least one IUI), which reassured me a lot. The nurse placed my legs in the maximum security straps, and the team started to get the equipment ready. Joe took a seat to my left, next to my head. Dr. Keenan called the embryologist over, whose name is Dr. Steven Johnson but introduced himself as Steve. Nicest guy ever. He gave us the embryo update:
Transferring today: 1
Still in development for potential freezing: 5
5! Wow!! I was ecstatic to hear that news. I felt so good, and so hopeful that our cycle had produced at least 6 embryos. Six pre-babies! I was happy.
Dr. Johnson then showed us a photo of the embryo that they were transferring in that day. He said it was a perfect embryo… “textbook.” He went back to the adjoining lab and started to get the embryo prepared for transfer, while Dr. Keenan placed the speculum and catheter in position. After a few minutes, I heard Dr. Keenan say, “Steve, we’re ready,” and then the transfer process began. Joe put his hand on my shoulder. Though I couldn’t see much of the transfer on-screen, I watched the doctors watch the screen intently to place the embryo in the exact right place in my uterus.
It’s hard to describe what I was thinking in these 5 minutes. It was stunning. It felt like the miracles of science and love, coming together. I listened to the classical music faintly playing. I sent good vibes to the little embryo making its way to its home. I prayed that this was our baby. Tears slid down the corners of my eyes at the weight of the moment.
All at once, it was complete. The next part was a blur. The nurse sat me up gently, and showed me an ultrasound capture of the embryo. It’s just a little flash of light that wasn’t there before. But it’s almost a baby.