Somewhere in the middle of the 2WW for my 3rd IUI, Joe and I were in the car together when I tearfully turned to him and said, “I’ve decided something. If this current IUI doesn’t work, I don’t think I’m ready for IVF. I’m young, we have a lot of time to have children, and I don’t think I’m ready to subject my body to the invasiveness of an IVF treatment cycle at this point.” I was having a bad day. But I did somewhat mean it.
A few days later, I got my period. Failed IUI, #3. I wasn’t so surprised… but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt in every way. It was harder than ever not to know what was “wrong,” after so many tries. Still unexplained, this infertility. Was it timing? Was it an undiscovered medical condition? What. Was. The. Problem?!
Back in the 2nd IUI cycle, we had a catch-up meeting with Dr. Fogle to talk through next options past IUI and so I had a general understanding of the physical and financial commitments of IVF, as well as the 6-week time commitment required. I can’t remember the moment I changed my mind and decided to move forward, but our reasons for jumping into IVF were pretty practical:
- We weren’t getting any younger, at 32 and 31. Egg reserve and health only diminish with time.
- Perhaps the IVF process would help us understand why our bodies hadn’t been working to produce a baby over the last year and a half.
- We had already met our insurance deductible for the year, and it was to our benefit to continue with IVF treatment in the same calendar year.
- We had also been saving money for a new car, and had money in the bank to write the upfront checks that IVF treatment required (insurance only covered about 70% of costs in our case).
- We were ready to see this adventure through…and ready to be parents! We’d come this far… so, we asked ourselves, why not? We didn’t want to live with the regret that we didn’t do all we could.
So, in mid-September, I started back on birth control pills for the first time in almost two years… the beginning of our next adventure.