How DO you measure a year in the life?
For the past year, I’ve measured life in cycles. 12 a year, give or take. 12 cycles, 12 chances. 12. 12!!! Until we started trying for a baby and struggling with infertility, I never truly stopped to think about how fast a year zooms by. A year of trying, where each 28-day cycle begins with huge hope, and ends with terrible disappointment. It’s a brutal rollercoaster ride we can’t escape. It’s literally life, one period at a time.
Every day, I feel like I’m running out of days. I’m hyper-aware of time passing. I get anxious when the calendar pages turn to new months. I often wish that we had started trying sooner. As soon as we were married. Heck, before!
Of course, everything’s clearer in the rearview. For now, I’m figuring out how to slow my mind down, if not my body. How to breathe. How to appreciate the present… and be thankful for the tough times as well as the good. I’m working on it.
Ugh, life is hard. Here’s some Rent to slow us down and cheer us up: